Hating George Lucas

This past weekend, Jenny and I watched the Star Wars trilogy (you know, the real one, not the prequels). I had downloaded the three original movies since the copies I have are on VHS rather than DVD, and I sadly did not have room to bring videos when moving to France.

Unbeknownst to me, however, was the fact that the versions that I downloaded were George Lucas's updated "Special Edition" versions - the ones he re-released in 1997, with added scenes, newly inserted CGI shots, etc. The versions that George Lucas considers to be the definitive versions of the three original movies, and everyone who is not George Lucas considers to be a crime against his or her childhood. How lucky I was never to have seen these bastardized versions until now.

Watching the first two, the original Star Wars (or A New Hope) and The Empire Strikes Back, was relatively bearable. There were definitely cringe-worthy moments when something very obviously and hideously computer-generated appeared onscreen, disrupting the flow of the movie, but I tried to ignore them. The worst part of watching the first two was, of course, the scene in which a very computer-generated-looking Jabba the Hutt confronts Han Solo in Mos Eisley, and the majority of the dialogue is repeated word-for-word from Han's exchange with Greedo. But for the most part, I was able to ignore the changes in Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back, as irksome as they were, and simply enjoy the movies.

But The Return of the Jedi was a different story. From the early scene in which a cartoonish-looking CGI band replaces the original band at Jabba's palace, singing an absolutely ridiculous song that would be laughable if it weren't so tragic, a parade of poorly thought out and clumsily executed changes plagues Lucas's new version of the final installment.

Most disturbing of all, however, was the ending. The happy tribal-sounding song that plays as members of the Rebellion celebrate their victory with the Ewoks is gone, replaced by an entirely new song. And then, the final touch - as Luke sees the spirits of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda joined not by Sebastian Shaw, the man who plays the face of Darth Vader as he dies a few scenes earlier, but by HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN! THE GUY WHO PLAYED ANAKIN IN THE PREQUELS!

Rather than having Anakin Skywalker appear as he is presented in this film, creating a connection the significance of which is immediately apparent to the viewer, Lucas inserts the image of an actor who will be completely unknown to someone who hasn't seen the prequels. Christensen's presence also made me realize that this was not the 1997 Special Edition, but an even newer version, released after the prequels were made, and demonstrating once again that George Lucas simply does not know when to stop.

Sorry to rant, but I just couldn't help myself. I guess this goes to show the perils of downloading.